The Story of Us

One of the hardest things about writing books or stories or poems or anything is deciding where to begin because the truth is, stories begin long before the first page. Histories are built and feelings are cemented and the people you meet on Page 1 have novels worth of history that got them to that point. One of my favorite stories (naturally) is the story of how J and I met :) It's actually a really sweet story with a lot of twists and turns but in order to REALLY understand what happened and why our meeting was so unexpected and wonderful, I'm going to have to begin a year and a half before J and I actually met.

I know it sounds like a lot but it's actually a really good story, I promise :) I'll post the first bit tomorrow! Until then, I know you'll be waiting in suspense ;) haha

Candyland

It's become somewhat of a Halloween tradition that every year, at 12:01 am, November 1st, J and I run to the local Wal-Mart and buy bags and bags of discounted Halloween candy. We've maybe done this once. Maybe. The truth is that we usually don't remember until November 1st, 7:00 pm and by then, absolutely all of the candy is gone. Can you believe?

After being disappointed by Wal-Mart, we stopped at the HEB on our way home, just to see. Luckily, we came home with a huge back of Wonka candy (for $3.50) and a MASSIVE bag of chocolates for $5 :) It was absolutely wonderful. I know it's kind of a silly tradition, but it's always nice to have candy around for those stressful all-nighters.

Does anyone have any silly post-Halloween traditions? :)

25

So today was J and mine's 25 month-iversary. Don't worry, we don't really celebrate each month but we like to remember it and make it a point to be extra cute :) BUT TODAY, when my roommate came with the mail, there was a mysterious package amongst the envelopes. Being the horribly impatient person that I am, I ripped it open. Kind of. I was deterred by the duct tape and the mailing label. But after that, I managed to extract the surprise and it was....

I was obsessed with this game when I was a little kid and it was the only video game I've actually been good at (besides Mario Kart. Word.) and ever since finding my GameBoy Color a few months ago, I've been keeping an eye out for it. I hadn't had any luck and J knew that I was pretty much fed up with the whole endeavor so he went ahead and found it online :) And it got here just in time. It might seem lame but it was pretty exciting when it happened! Especially considering the fact that I'd been working nonstop from 9-8 on only 4 hours of sleep and was in a less-than-happy mood.

And speaking of crappy days, tomorrow's going to be the longest day of the week. I have a group project with a bunch of people who insist that we be at the library from 7 pm - 1 am on a project that takes maybe three hours :| On the bright side, the next time you'll hear from me, it'll be Friday!!

Thesis Things

Sometimes I write about happy things, sometimes I write about sad things. BUT, I do try to type about things relevant to me because at the end of the day, isn't that what most blogs are? Anyway, the latest adventure I'm launching on is called 'Writing a Thesis'. You see, I'm in the Honors college at my undergraduate institution and as I go into my senior year, I'm expected to write a thesis and defend it in April. If I don't do it, I don't graduate from the Honors college. Almost only counts in horseshoes and something else I've forgotten.

Why am I telling you about this now? Well, today is the lucky day I get to write my thesis statement. Basically, I'm talking about Argentina and Guatemala. Back in the 70s and 80s, they had a rough time politically. Like, they killed a lot of people. But from all this horribleness came a few good things and I'm choosing to focus on one in particular: CSOs created by and for women.

What is a CSO you may ask? Well, its an acronym for Civil Service Organization which you could probably google and understand it better than I do. ANYWAY, it may come as a surprise but with a few token exceptions, women weren't too active in the political climates of their countries, ESPECIALLY in Guatemala where a big chunk of the population didn't even speak Spanish but instead, a language indigenous to their regions. Now, I had known about the Argentine 'Dirty War' from the start of my Latin American Studies education but I had no clue about what had happened in Guatemala. Which is actually horrible. I couldn't read the primary sources in one sitting. I cried a few times. I can honestly say it was emotionally exhausting research. But these groups of women chose to stand up for themselves, and their rights. For the rights of their children and their disappeared/deceased families. They truly are inspirational. The Madres are relatively well-known in the international community but the Guatemalan widows are still largely confined to Guatemala. They don't receive aid. No one really knows about them despite the fact that over 200,000 indigenous peoples were killed just because. Over a quarter of a million children were left orphaned. And it's not even considered a genocide despite the fact that what happened to these people more than qualifies it for that term.

Basically, my thesis is focusing on answering the question: why? Why did they develop so differently? I'm procrastinating writing this in fancy terms AND, if you happen to be desperate for a thesis idea, I already turned in the proposal so people would know if you stole it! HOWEVER, if for some reason you want to know about either of these groups or their histories, feel free to do some Googler-research but just be warned: it isn't happy.

MOVING ON, the first football game of the season is Friday which, coincidentally is the day I have to go out of town to pick up the pottery J and I painted on our anniversary. Wait, did I tell you what we did for our 2 year? No? I'll get to that soon, I promise :)

Happy sleepings, everyone!

Carrie Bradshaw

I remember during the fall of my senior year, I caught a Sex and the City marathon on TV. I had never seen it before and one episode turned into a whole season. It was safe to say I was obsessed. I carried the lessons with me and tried to internalize what I had perceived as truths about men. I didn’t become alarmed until one very distinct day when I realized that Sarah Jessica Parker was narrating my life. In my head. And what was most alarming to me at the time wasn’t the fact that a I could hear a fictional character in my head but instead, that one of the most dramatic women to have ever graced television could find something to say about my life. My life that was happy and peachy and sunshines and rainbows. Just a few days before, I had been waltzing around in a happiness-induced daze.

But I remember walking out onto the marching field, flute and water jug in hand, looking over at the trumpet section, seeing Aron and the narration began. That’s when I realized that something was amiss among my world of smiles. If there was narration going on, then the relationship wasn’t working.

It did for a while. For a while, our relationship actually produced happiness within both parties. For a while, we just couldn’t contain our witty banter and flirty texts. Then came the waiting. The very lonely nights of watching E! reality shows, staring at the phone, as if my undivided attention and longing could cause it to ring. And it did ring. It just wasn’t Aron. It was never Aron anymore. Not a text nor a call came from my boy of the moment.

Angry and jaded, I would reach out to other boys who I knew would contact me if they only had the means. I gave them my number and even ended up with a new boyfriend (who, coincidentally, was Aron’s best friend but that’s for another day) but I was never satisfied with the phone ringing. It just wasn’t the right person.

For those of you who want to know how the story ended- it would never ring again. The few times he did contact me, well, again, those are stories for another day. But it was never the same. Despite everything we had gone through together and the secrets we had divulged to each other, it was something replaceable to him. He wasn’t waiting by the phone.

It seems that, for a good portion of my life, I’m waiting by the phone. I’m waiting to hear from the right person- waiting for them to say the right thing. Now, going into my second senior year (don’t worry, it’s of college) I feel like most moments are moments of anxious waiting. Waiting for the text message icon or for the all-out glory of a call, bringing across the airwaves just the voice that I need to hear.

I need to hear from law schools, I need to hear from literary agents but most importantly, I need to hear from my boyfriend right now but he’s out with the guys so that probably won’t happen. It just makes me wonder- when did life become the waiting game? When did it become rapid successions of moments instead of one continuous wave? And why isn’t that smiley face text icon flashing on my phone? 

The Great Spring Break Debate

As Spring Break draws tantalizingly near (only 23 more days!!), people like me and J are looking forward to the warmer weather. We had another ice day today (not that I'm complaining) and another windchill temperature in the negatives. Not to beat a dead horse or anything but yeah, I really hate the cold. Which is WHY, for Spring Break, J and I are going to begin planning our trip to THIS lovely place!

(Google Images)

We're lucky enough to have similar tastes in vacation destinations so this was a no-brainer. My friend, A, however, is not as lucky. See, she's also a warm-weather creature like myself. Her boyfriend, S, is some sort of polar bear or something. His greatest love in life is probably snowboarding and A's is taking cruises. Normally, this isn't a big deal but for Spring Break, it has sparked some debate. See, their group of friends and my former "friends" are going skiing in New Mexico. I, not being invited and being the resilient person I am, didn't let it phase me too much. It was fine. J couldn't have cared less but S lost himself in complete happiness. This was his dream come true.

Now A was a little distressed. She had wanted to go somewhere warm for the vacation and she felt a little uncomfortable about going with this particular group since Evil Roommate has been trying to make moves on her man since freshman year. Still, they're going. A, on a daily basis, cannot decide if this is what she wants to do or not. She wants to share in something that S enjoys and she wants to spend the break with him. However, it is quite a costly trip for broke college students such as ourselves and if it weren't for S, it would be a no-brainer: she wouldn't go. This has caused tension in their relationship lately. As of now, she's going but arguably, unhappily. 

So I ask you, blogosphere, what do you think she should do? Clearly, this is nothing something she wants to do. And it doesn't help that S has yet to go to California with her though she's been begging since their first date. Should A go to the winter wonderland and be miserable? Would you go with your SO to a place you weren't fond of, even if it didn't seem too thrilled to have you accompany him? These are issues beyond my knowledge.

On a much brighter note, we had an Ice Day today and made Mexican hot chocolate and taquitos. We curled up in big, fluffy bathrobes and watched Fried Green Tomatoes which is actually a really adorable movie and ate Chinese food that left me feeling incredibly bloated. I guess it's the little things.

Today Is Christmas

Today is Christmas and it was spent with my family, eating delicious food and being the generally dysfunctional bunch we always are. One thing you'll learn about me is that I'm horrible at uploading pictures in a timely manner so I always end up making posts about things that have happened days before because I finally have the pictures up. Which is why, today, I'll mostly be talking about what happened the day before Christmas Eve instead of this wonderful day itself. Which is sad because Christmas really is a beautiful time of year. As everyone in my family changes and gets older, the dynamics of our Christmas change but the love is always there and for that, I am grateful.

Another thing I'm grateful for is the fact that my beloved J gets home tomorrow! He's been stranded in London and even though he's only lay-overing in my town for about an hour, he'll be at his home home and I'll be able to see him for ten days :] Just knowing that he's on my side of the Atlantic is going to relieve some stress, I feel. Having a boyfriend 5000 miles away really is a stressful situation. Anyway, here he is:

He really is a wondeful boyfriend and altogether is the second thing I am grateful for.

The third is for these people:

Since I was in London for the past three months, I hadn't had the chance to see any of my good friends from home and even though I still have yet to see any of them, I'm thankfully for the four I did get a chance to hang out with a few days ago. From left to right: K, my roommate who I'll soon be seeing on a daily basis. M, who goes to school a few hours away from me and is really bad about texting back, T, my best friend who has stood by my craziest moments but who is so busy during the semester that she hardly has time to sleep much less hang out and finally, C, who shipped off to the Navy a few years ago and, besides for a few days she takes as leave, doesn't know when she'll be back. Somehow, some way, we were all able to get together and hang out. Walk to the mall like we did before we could drive, try on ridiculous outfits and catch each other up on our craziest stories. For a while, our group of friends was absolutely crazy and we fought every other day. A manifestation of our jealousy and insecurity. We've finally gotten a little better about that and have learned to be thankful for the times we do get to be together.

Now my family's baking a pie [frozen of course, we don't do 'from scratch' around here] and are having problems working the new Blu-Ray player so I think I'm going to go see what's up. J's flight leaves at 5 am CST and he should be back by four! AND AND AND I get to see D, the boy who I had the most inexplicable relationship with but have somehow managed to be friends with, and the wonderful K. More on that later of course but for now, Merry Christmas. It's amazing that a day like this can exist; to just bask in the blessing of life and put everything else aside for a whole twenty-four hours.