Excuse Me?

I won't lie to you- there is something weird about my school. I know I say this a lot (and after the whole pajama thing, how could you not know?) but recent events have led me to believe this more than ever. See, everyone at my school gets married. We seriously have what is probably the highest undergraduate engagement rate in the country. Now I'm not saying anything for or against marrying young since I know couples who have made it work and couples who weren't able to. I've always been a big believer that the success of a marriage really depends on the strength of the couple going into the commitment and the strength of the individuals who compose that couple but what do I know? Up until two years ago, I was the most romantically challenged person in this universe.

Anyway, while I've always been aware of this engagement phenomenon (seriously, the school even has a nickname for this), it's finally hit close to home with a friend I've known since my freshman year getting engaged. Just like that. While J and I were debating where to put our newly acquired Panda picture we acquired over Spring Break, she was acquiring a fiance. A fiancee. I don't know why but this is kind of alarming to me. I guess it's just a foreign concept to me. My parents married in their late 20s and my mom has always been a huge proponent of experiencing life as a single person before settling down. The way I see it is that you can't help when you meet that special someone and you shouldn't have to give up anything to be with them. Obviously, you're not going to be able to hit up the strip clubs or do anything like that but if you want to go live in India... do it. If it's meant to be, they'll be there for you. NOW, I'm not saying moving to India permanently while your loved one has a job in Canada or anything but for a few months... why not?

Like I said, all these things are far beyond my realm of knowledge. It just... stresses me out.

In other news, Spring Break was fantastic. I feel like it deserves its own post which I'll type up as soon as I'm not completely exhausted. A and her boyfriend are back from their New Mexican escapades and I'm excited to see them again.... But am I the only one who dislikes talking about breaks and things like that for hours??? I love to catch up and everything but every once in a while, you meet those people who just cannot stop talking. Really, I love you but I don't need to know that the blanket you had was of a fleece-like texture with faint orange stripes :| Bah.

LASTLY, I've becoming obsessed with baking these little things lately:

(Google images)

In all shapes and sizes and flavors. I haven't progressed past the boxed-mix stage, I've bookmarked a few recipes I'm excited to try out this week!

Snow Day 2011

Just last week, temperatures hit an all-time low here in University Town and it started snowing. Not quite London snow but a pretty impressive fall nonetheless. Class was canceled and so, after sleeping in, we gallivanted about taking the obligatory snowscape pictures.

J shoving me into a pile of snow. If I hadn't been wearing about 10 layers, I probably would've killed him right then and there.

The ever adorable A and S! In a completely staged yet completely adorable walking while laughing picture.

Our amazing snowman, coming in at 12 inches, Gertrude! By the time we got around to building him, the snow had started to melt and there just wasn't enough to make him very impressive so we got creative with accessories.

The roommates and I with Gertrude :) He lived well into the next day, bringing smiles to the faces of anyone who happened to walk by our lovely apartment.

The Great Spring Break Debate

As Spring Break draws tantalizingly near (only 23 more days!!), people like me and J are looking forward to the warmer weather. We had another ice day today (not that I'm complaining) and another windchill temperature in the negatives. Not to beat a dead horse or anything but yeah, I really hate the cold. Which is WHY, for Spring Break, J and I are going to begin planning our trip to THIS lovely place!

(Google Images)

We're lucky enough to have similar tastes in vacation destinations so this was a no-brainer. My friend, A, however, is not as lucky. See, she's also a warm-weather creature like myself. Her boyfriend, S, is some sort of polar bear or something. His greatest love in life is probably snowboarding and A's is taking cruises. Normally, this isn't a big deal but for Spring Break, it has sparked some debate. See, their group of friends and my former "friends" are going skiing in New Mexico. I, not being invited and being the resilient person I am, didn't let it phase me too much. It was fine. J couldn't have cared less but S lost himself in complete happiness. This was his dream come true.

Now A was a little distressed. She had wanted to go somewhere warm for the vacation and she felt a little uncomfortable about going with this particular group since Evil Roommate has been trying to make moves on her man since freshman year. Still, they're going. A, on a daily basis, cannot decide if this is what she wants to do or not. She wants to share in something that S enjoys and she wants to spend the break with him. However, it is quite a costly trip for broke college students such as ourselves and if it weren't for S, it would be a no-brainer: she wouldn't go. This has caused tension in their relationship lately. As of now, she's going but arguably, unhappily. 

So I ask you, blogosphere, what do you think she should do? Clearly, this is nothing something she wants to do. And it doesn't help that S has yet to go to California with her though she's been begging since their first date. Should A go to the winter wonderland and be miserable? Would you go with your SO to a place you weren't fond of, even if it didn't seem too thrilled to have you accompany him? These are issues beyond my knowledge.

On a much brighter note, we had an Ice Day today and made Mexican hot chocolate and taquitos. We curled up in big, fluffy bathrobes and watched Fried Green Tomatoes which is actually a really adorable movie and ate Chinese food that left me feeling incredibly bloated. I guess it's the little things.

One is the loneliest number

It's a war that's over. And even if it wasn't, it's not a war I particularly ever wanted to win. The loyalties of the people who are willing to accept a villified, completely outlandish version of me after knowing me for some years are not the kind of people I want to surround myself with. Still, when those are the only people who comprised my little circle of university friends, it's kind of hard to accept loneliness. I have some friends from high school who have still stuck by me. Two go to this school and they're doing the best they can to make sure I don't feel the full effects of being ostracized but there's only so much they can do. While they remain the people I trust entirely, they're not the people I get to see every day.

Those people want nothing to do with me and I feel the full effects of it every day. One of my good friends who's hung by me this whole time, M, is my roommate and one of the best people I could ask for in my life and because she's still friends with that group of people, I know how often they hang out, how often they invite her to things, how often they want to get together to plan their spring break trip and how much they don't want me in attendance.

I don't mean to sound whiny but I just need a place to vent completely. To express this new hurt I feel. It's not like this is the first time I've been dumped by all my friends. It happened to me occasionally throughout high school but it always seemed to all work out in the end. As mad at me as they got, they never stopped believe that I was a truly good person the way my university "friends" have. It's clear: The Evil Roommate has won this war. She went out of her way last Spring to make sure everyone knew how "terrible" I was and, not wanting to start problems nor wanting to be the rat telling the real side of the story and bringing the whole mess up, I kept to myself. Flew under the radar. And that's it.

I guess the problem is that I'm not used to being lonely. I have 5 total friends at university, including J. It just hurts not getting invited to dinners or girls' night or to fun vacations. And it's only exacerbated by the fact that the reason why all this happened is as stupid as any.

I know things will get better and I promise I'm not going to use this blog as a way to complain. It's just good to get this all out in the open. To have someone know how I feel and hopefully, maybe, I won't feel this way for too much longer.

Settling In

In the past week, I've moved into my apartment at University, been reunited with people I haven't seen since the summer and have started school. As far as education goes, it's going to be an obscenely rough semester. It's the semester of too many hours, the thesis, the LSAT and hopefully a job even though that's not really looking up for me right now. Another stresser I've come into the semester with, and I don't know if I've ever written about it here, is the phantom pain in my lady region that's been bothering me since September. September. Why haven't I gotten it fixed, you may ask? Well, I went off to London and the doctors just couldn't figure out what it was. I've been seeing my home doctor and she gave me some medicine to eliminate some common causes. One of these medicines is a cream that is probably one of the least pleasant things I've ever experienced and I have an appointment next weekend to see if it worked. Fingers crossed, folks! Because if it didn't, we gotta keep lookin'. (And for those of you who are worried about this: I've had a full STD panel and it is none of them so we're in the clear there). J's been wonderful at supporting me and he even drives me to my appointments since it's about two and a half hours away.

In other news, I've been trying to settle into the rhythm of classes. It's not too hard now, since, ever since my evil roommate fiasco, the number of friends I have at university has significantly plummeted. But you know what? I don't really mind. They were all people I was never really that close, too and people who never once bothered to ask for my side of the story, preferring to believe that I was as horrible as my ex-roommate would have them believe. It used to bother me but I think I can successfully say that I've let that all go.

I've also become obsessed with this place:

(Google images)

The closest one is an hour and a half away but that didn't stop M and I from going twice this past week. They also have 50 cent hot dogs which is just incredible. Can you believe?

2011

It's time. It's time for that 'goodbye 2010, hello 2011' post that seem to be all the rage right now. So far, I've spent 2011 in the company of good friends, good family and stabbing myself continuously with a sewing needle as I try to finish up J's Christmas present. I am, actually, that un-domestic. Anyway, as I've already kind of reflected, I've decided to type up my New Years' Resolutions so that they exist somewhere in the world, so that I don't completely forget what they are.

Last year, my one resolution was to be more like Sherlock Holmes. To learn marksmanship, self-defense and pick up the basics of another language or two. I am sad to say that none of these things happened. But if there ever was a time for re-invention, it would be the turning of a new calendar page and, with that in mind, here I go.

1. Go to the gym AT LEAST twice a week M-F and once on the weekend. Maybe three times during the week if I know my weekend's going to be busy.

2. Study for the LSAT. Then, subsequently, take the LSAT.

3. Apply to at least 4 law schools, in order to have choices.

4. Get 75% done with my thesis.

5. Finish writing my book and send it's query letter off to the agenting world.

6. Get an internship I'll actually enjoy.

7. Give respect to those who deserve it; patient tolerance to those who don't. Going along with that, refuse to be anything other than who I am. Surround myself only with people who's company I truly enjoy.

8. Keep the love of life that London's re-instilled in me. Appreciate the value of every single day and know, that, in the end, it's going to be a good life.

I won't lie, while I usually don't listen to much of their stuff, OneRepublic's song, Good Life, pretty much seems up the vibe and core of what I'm trying to accomplish this year. What I'm going to strive to always remember. Because, if I can do that, then the rest of the resolutions, I sincerely believe, will come easier. I'll let the lyrics speak for themselves. Happy new year, everyone :]

Woke up in London yesterday, found myself in the city near Piccadilly 
Don't really know how I got here, I've got some pictures on my phone
New names and numbers that I don't know,
addresses to places like Abbey road
Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want, we're young enough to say

Oh, this is gonna be a good life, this is gonna be a good life
This could really be a good life, good life
I say, "Oh, got this feeling that you can't fight," like the city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life, a good, good life.

Retrospective

While a lot of people spend New Year's Eve preparing for a new year, figuring out what they're going to do to make this year better than the last, I am choosing to honor the passing of what was a pretty good year with a list! I normally don't do lists because I freeze up and forget what I meant to put down but I'm hoping to succeed this time around. So, without further ado, The Bests & Worsts of 2010. [Please note, they are not ranked in any particular order]

Best

1. The European Escapades that branched from September to December. 

2. The cruise I was able to take in March with the best friend.

3. Another year of being surrounded with my wonderful family and friends.

4. J and mine's 6-month celebration

5. My family's vacation to New York which, sadly, I have no pictures of because my sister's hoarding them all. Truth.

Worst
1. The little guy's month-after-month medical procedures, which, ultimately left him completely blind and with one eye.

2. This. And it's repercussions.

3. My less-than-enjoyable bout with the swine flu.

4. My less-than-enjoyable, still undiagnosed, still incredibly painful... well, pain, in my lady region. 4 months later and it continues to wage war on the rest of me.

5. The still on-going divorce of J's parents. I know this doesn't affect me personally but it affects someone I love.

I know that, all in all, I've been incredibly lucky this year. Save for a few mishaps, nothing really bad has happened to me and I know there are a lot of people who couldn't say the same. But for everyone, good year or bad year aside, the year has little time left. 3 hours and 10 minutes according to my computer, who hasn't felt the need to adjust to Central time; 9 hours and 10 minutes for me. So even if this year has wronged you, has stabbed you in the back or has been your best friend, it'll be important to face 2011 as a completely new entity. It hasn't done anything to merit anyone's hatred or distaste. It's a new shot for all of us. Thank. Goodness.

Genetics. Friends. Uh-oh.

So I've been gone for a semester, this has been established. and while I was off making wonderful new friends and while I've been spending my Christmas re-connecting with the people who have known me for the past seven years and have gotten me through some of my worst and best moments, there is still one distinct group of people that I have yet to see. My university friends.

I think it's important to note, first, that when I went away for university, I was at a really weird stage in my life. I was trying to adjust to life 'on my own'; trying to figure out who I had been in high school and who I wanted to be and I fell into a group of people wondering the very same thing. As we got older and figured out who we would be, it became evident that we were becoming very, very different people. The only problem was that everyone else was becoming more the same while I was becoming increasingly different. The brand-spanking-new black sheep of the family. I know it's horrible to say but I've never been the black sheep before. My home friends, for all our differences, make a great group together. We understand that we've all chosen different things we want from life and different paths to get those things but we live each other. The time for judgment has passed. The university group isn't quite there yet nor will I think it will ever get there.

There is one exception to the above paragraph. My best university friend, who we'll call M, is absolutely wonderful. We haven't seen each other in six months but every time we find the time to talk, it's like we were never apart. She was the one who changed more along my way of change. We're very much the same though I'm the much more cynical and sarcastic and blatant about the way I feel, and she's a complete optimist and kind to the core. Mostly. We tend to share the same taste in who we like and what type of personalities we dislike but while I generally refuse to hide it, she's fake-nice for a living so she's generally the more well-liked one, too. ANYWAY, despite this exception, my university friends and I have about nothing in common. At all. I was just perusing through a facebook album and my first thought upon seeing their pictures was, "This is what I'm sentenced to now?" I SWEAR, I AM NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON. And I felt so terrible about even thinking this. They are wonderful people and I'm sure they entertain themselves marvelously but it is just not for me. I outgrew that kind of stuff at about age six. No joke.

Gah, I swear. That was out of line but I am a nice person. I just wish I got along with more people :/ I think it's genetic though.

Today Is Christmas

Today is Christmas and it was spent with my family, eating delicious food and being the generally dysfunctional bunch we always are. One thing you'll learn about me is that I'm horrible at uploading pictures in a timely manner so I always end up making posts about things that have happened days before because I finally have the pictures up. Which is why, today, I'll mostly be talking about what happened the day before Christmas Eve instead of this wonderful day itself. Which is sad because Christmas really is a beautiful time of year. As everyone in my family changes and gets older, the dynamics of our Christmas change but the love is always there and for that, I am grateful.

Another thing I'm grateful for is the fact that my beloved J gets home tomorrow! He's been stranded in London and even though he's only lay-overing in my town for about an hour, he'll be at his home home and I'll be able to see him for ten days :] Just knowing that he's on my side of the Atlantic is going to relieve some stress, I feel. Having a boyfriend 5000 miles away really is a stressful situation. Anyway, here he is:

He really is a wondeful boyfriend and altogether is the second thing I am grateful for.

The third is for these people:

Since I was in London for the past three months, I hadn't had the chance to see any of my good friends from home and even though I still have yet to see any of them, I'm thankfully for the four I did get a chance to hang out with a few days ago. From left to right: K, my roommate who I'll soon be seeing on a daily basis. M, who goes to school a few hours away from me and is really bad about texting back, T, my best friend who has stood by my craziest moments but who is so busy during the semester that she hardly has time to sleep much less hang out and finally, C, who shipped off to the Navy a few years ago and, besides for a few days she takes as leave, doesn't know when she'll be back. Somehow, some way, we were all able to get together and hang out. Walk to the mall like we did before we could drive, try on ridiculous outfits and catch each other up on our craziest stories. For a while, our group of friends was absolutely crazy and we fought every other day. A manifestation of our jealousy and insecurity. We've finally gotten a little better about that and have learned to be thankful for the times we do get to be together.

Now my family's baking a pie [frozen of course, we don't do 'from scratch' around here] and are having problems working the new Blu-Ray player so I think I'm going to go see what's up. J's flight leaves at 5 am CST and he should be back by four! AND AND AND I get to see D, the boy who I had the most inexplicable relationship with but have somehow managed to be friends with, and the wonderful K. More on that later of course but for now, Merry Christmas. It's amazing that a day like this can exist; to just bask in the blessing of life and put everything else aside for a whole twenty-four hours.